I didn't mean it like that
by Jadis31
Summary: These are a series of Drabbles written for a first line challenge. All are slash, Remus and Sirius.


All of these were written for Ballyharnon's first line and ingredients challenge:  
  
Slip of the Tongue  
  
Words: 143  
  
Uses: Cigarettes and Ballet  
  
"Oh Hell. I didn't mean it like that!"  
  
Sirius' indignation only made James laugh harder. "How could 'He looks real good in that uniform' mean something other than 'he's shaggalble'?"  
  
Peter, his face red and speech broken with laughter continued "Yeah, admit it, Sirius, you're a pouf."  
  
Sirius just glared, trying to ignore the darkening of his cheeks.  
  
James, still laughing, threw an arm over Sirius' shoulder. "Don't worry, we'll still be your friends, even when you start ballet dancing and calling everything fabulous."  
  
Sirius pushed James away, glare and blush both darker.  
  
James and Peter dissolved into laughter. As Sirius turned away he heard them say something about high heels and lip-gloss.  
  
Sirius noticed Remus, standing there. "Aren't you going to have a shot at me?"  
  
Remus took a long drag of his cigarette and gave a sly little smiled, "Maybe later."  
  
What You Wish For  
  
Words: 399  
  
Uses: claw foot bath tub and leather manacles  
  
"Oh hell, I... didn't mean it like... that." Remus stammered in horror as he looked around the room of requirements. There was violin music playing softly, an elegant table set for two, chilled wine and a warm gentle fire. That would have been bad enough. That would have taken more explaining than he thought himself capable of, but the rest of it... he had no words for the rest. How could he explain the presence of an old claw foot bath, big enough for two, or a most inviting bed draped in silk and... oh god... leather manacles. Remus could feel his face heating up, as his mind raced trying to come up with any excuse he could give Sirius for the state of the room.  
  
Remus couldn't look at it any longer. He finally looked at Sirius. Sirius' mouth was hanging open a little and his eyes were wide as galleons. The very picture of shock, not a look he often wore. Remus couldn't look at him either. He stared at his feet ad opened his mouth.  
  
He had no idea what he would say, but the longer he was silent the worse the situation was becoming. "I asked the room for a perfect place for us to study. Somewhere quiet and private where we wouldn't be disturbed and cold get on with business... homework, I meant homework. There must be something wrong with the enchantment. That must be it. Who knows how old this charm is? It was bound to give out at some point. We should report it to the professors. Can you imagine what else could have been here? Students could get hurt if they don't do something about it. Of course, we can't tell them. I forgot it's past curfew, but maybe we should send a note. An anonymous owl. Yeah. That's it. Because this... this isn't what I asked for. I wanted a place to study, just a place for us to study." He clamped his mouth shut. He was babbling, he knew, to cover his nerves and embarrassment. He also knew it was only making him sound like a fool.  
  
He heard Sirius's laughter, but couldn't look back at his friend. He didn't want to see Sirius laughing at him. Not now... not over this.  
  
Sirius' hand moved to Remus' shoulder. "That depends on what you what you really wanted to study."  
  
Standing Up  
  
Words: 323  
  
Uses: Regulus and Ballet  
  
"Oh hell. I didn't mean it like that, James. I just meant it'll... it'll take some getting used to, you know?" Peter looked up at his friend. James seemed taller, stronger than he was – larger in his anger, red faced and tight lipped. Peter imagined this is how he must seem to Slytherins or first years. Like a Titan.  
  
"I hope that's how you meant it, because that's not how it sounded to me. You sounding too fucking much like Regulus or Snape. Sirius and Remus are going to hear enough of that crap from them, they don't need it from their friends too." He still loomed over Peter, glaring form a moment longer, driving his point home, before he stepped back.  
  
"No, James, I'm not like that, you know I'm not like them. I just wish they'd told us earlier. Given us time to get used to it before the whole school knew." James' anger dissipated. Peter knew James, loyal and defensive as he was, was angry and hurt that Remus and Sirius hadn't told him they were together. James had to hear it through a rumor over breakfast, after Regulus had already told all of Slytherin.  
  
"Don't worry about it, Pete. Just watch what you say around them." James threw his arm over Peter's shoulder, but thankfully it was only for a second before he pulled it back.  
  
James just laughed, "and they're still Remus and Sirius. They're still our best friends. They're not going to start prancing about like a couple of ballet dancing poufs just because they're..." he laughed again, a little too boisterously. Peter knew it was forced, that James wasn't as comfortable with Remus and Sirius as he acted. He was probably no more comfortable with it that Peter was. But Peter knew he had to play along, pretend things were the same as ever. He knew better than to try talking to James about it again.  
  
Going Back  
  
Words: 230  
  
Uses: sugar cubes and smoky treats  
  
"Oh hell. I didn't mean it like that." The crumpled letter fell from Sirius' hand as he reached for his cigarettes.  
  
Remus tossed a sugar cube to Dumbledore's owl and waited for Sirius to share the news. Remus watched him taking one long drag after another without pushing him. Sirius had only been back a few weeks, but Remus was learning the changes in him. Remus was comfortable waiting for Sirius to speak, giving him the time to gather his thoughts, arrange his emotions; time he never wanted when they were young.  
  
When Sirius spoke it was without anger or spite - cold and resigned. So unlike the Sirius Remus remembered. "I'm going back to Grimmauld Place. I offered it to Dumbledore if he needed a safe house in town. He's decided to make it the headquarters of The Order. I'll have to go back there."  
  
Sirius hadn't been to his family's house in twenty years and Remus knew he'd never intended to return. Some places – some memories – should never be revisited. Remus understood that but apparently Dumbledore didn't.  
  
"I told her I wold never set foot in that mausoleum again." Remus knew it was the last thing Sirius had ever said to his mother.  
  
Remus reached across the table and covered Sirius' hand with his own. "I'll be there with you this time." Sirius' fingers tightened around him in gratitude.  
  
To Friends  
  
Words: 237  
  
Uses: Cigarettes and Whiskey (woo hoo!)  
  
"Oh hell. I didn't mean it like that, Sirius." Remus backed away, pulling out of Sirius' embrace. "That isn't what the hug was about. That night was – it was just so much, all at once. Finding out Peter was alive and you were innocent. God, Sirius, you were free and I was... I owed you so many apologies. I still do. I was just so glad to know the truth, to have you back. But not... not like that."  
  
Sirius wouldn't look at Remus. Remus couldn't look away. He had to face the hurt, the disappointment in Sirius. "I'm so sorry, but we can't go back to what that. We can't be what we were. There's too much history, too much time and just... hell between us."  
  
Remus knew he couldn't give Sirius what he wanted, but he had to do something, had to make it easier. "We're friends - we were always better as friends." He didn't think it helped, but it was all he knew to say.  
  
Sirius walked past him to the table. He returned a moment later with a whiskey for each of them.  
  
Sirius' voice was flat and strained, but he was able to look at Remus as he spoke. "To friends" Sirius raised his glass and Remus followed suit.  
  
Neither smiled at the toast, and Remus was glad for the alcohol, it cleaned the taste of Sirius' cigarettes from his lips.  
  
For Rent  
  
Words: 277  
  
Uses: a game of billiards and old family photos  
  
"Oh hell. I didn't mean it like that" Even as she yelled, Lily couldn't help laughing at Sirius' strut around the billiard table, his pose before taking a shot.  
  
"Sirius Black, all vanity and no sense! What I meant was that when we're all old and grey and bent over you'll be boring my grandchildren with stories of your food old days and making them sit for hours looking at the our old family photos."  
  
"Oh, that's what you meant when you said 'Sirius you looked so good at the wedding I wish James weren't messing up all the photos of us'" Sirius cast his voice in the closest approximation of Lily's he could manage. It wasn't close at all, but with his batting eyelashes and eerily feminine giggle, it was more than enough to reduce the room to laughter.  
  
"Well, Lily, if that is the way you feel, I could be persuaded to loan him to you." Remus leaned in conspiratorially, "for a small fee."  
  
"Hey!" "That's my WIFE!" Sirius and James, brandishing their billiard cues advanced on Remus.  
  
"Sorry, mates, but I have to do what I can for a knut these days." Remus said, moving to the relative safety behind Lily.  
  
Sirius' smile widened, "Do what you can for a nut, you say?" the billiard cue landed on the abandoned table and his advance on Remus took on a wholly different purpose.  
  
James was too familiar with that look. "Lily and I will leave you two to your knuts." He smiled and took his wife's arm.  
  
As they walked past, Lily whispered, loud enough for all to hear, "we'll talk about the price tomorrow."  
  
Futile  
  
Words: 391  
  
Uses: Whiskey and Family photos.  
  
"Oh hell. I didn't mean it like that. You know I trust Remus." Moody didn't add 'as much as I trust anyone', but Sirius knew it was there. Moody's eye scanned the room continuously, searching every corner, even in headquarters of the Order. Moody's paranoia wasn't excuse enough for Sirius on this topic.  
  
"That's bullshit. You can't condemn all werewolves except the one you know. That's the kind of reasoning every other bigot uses. That's the way my whole damn family thought." Sirius waved toward the old photos hanging through the room. A hundred years of Blacks looking down at him with disgust.  
  
"It's not like that, Sirius. Other werewolves aren't like Remus. They haven't been given the education, the opportunities he has. They don't feel any bond to the wizarding world."  
  
Sirius could feel himself getting angry. He wanted to move, to pace, to get a glass of whiskey, to knock Moody on his ass and make him understand how /good/, how /easy/ Remus had had it. He knew that if he moved at all, that was what would happen.  
  
In stead he spoke through gritted teeth. "They're still people. Like you and me and Remus."  
  
"You don't know any others. You judge them all by Remus, and trust me, they're not like him." Moody didn't sound defensive or angry, just annoyed. Like he was trying to explain something simple to a child who wouldn't understand. That tone made Sirius angrier than the words.  
  
"How many werewolves do you know? How many have you ever held a conversation with?" His voice was louder than he'd intended.  
  
"I've been an Auror for 35 years. I've brought in a fair number of them. Got an understanding for them." So matter of fact. Cold. Like he wasn't talking about people's lives. 'Brought in' for a werewolf meant executed. It was the only punishment the ministry sentenced them to.  
  
It was more than Sirius could stand. By the time his chair hit the floor, he was at the door. "There's a difference between hunting someone and knowing them." He slammed the door behind him.  
  
Sirius saw Remus across the hall, reading at the kitchen table. Sirius walked toward him and without looking up from his book, Remus reached out and took Sirius' hand. He squeezed Sirius' fingers and Sirius knew he'd heard it all.  
  
The Best Idea  
  
Words: 383  
  
Uses: cigarettes and Cloudy Weather  
  
"Oh hell. I didn't mean it like that." Remus knew it was too late. He could see the inspiration take hold of Sirius.  
  
"No, Moony, that's brilliant! Between the two of us we must know enough charms to make her fly. Does James still have that book on Broom Charms? I need to make some notes." Sirius was practically glowing with anticipation. Remus knew he was in trouble.  
  
"It's illegal" That argument wouldn't work, but Remus hoped it would at least distract him.  
  
"We won't get caught." Sirius didn't pause in his search for a quill.  
  
"You won't be able to smoke while flying." Maybe addiction could dampen his enthusiasm.  
  
"I can't smoke while I'm driving her on the road. This way, I'll be able to get to work so much faster... get a cigarette that much faster! Brilliant, Moony." He was smiling like a lunatic and destroying Remus' desk in search of ink.  
  
Remus was desperate now, and desperation lead to stupidity. "What about your hair? On cloudy days it would be a damp mess by the time you got anywhere."  
  
Sirius stopped overturning drawers and stood up and turned to Remus. "Why, Moony, it almost sounds like you don't want to do this." His smile was too charming. Innocence even feigned innocence was never a good look for Sirius. "Trust me you'll love it. It's your best idea yet." He ran his hand through Remus' hair and leaned in just a little, just enough to lead Remus' mind away from the topic at hand.  
  
Remus couldn't help stepping in closer, moving into the hand rubbing his neck. "I though all my best ideas involved us naked?"  
  
Sirius slipped his arm around Remus' waist, pulling the two of them together. "Oh, they do. But this one we can do in public" Sirius said it so low and soft that Remus couldn't help but shiver at the promise in it.  
  
"If I promised we could do the other in public, would you give up on this new idea?" Remus loved the way Sirius' eyes closed as Remus ran his fingers down Sirius' back.  
  
"No, but it would distract me for a while." Sirius' breath was warm against Remus' face and Remus needed to kiss him then. Neither any longer cared about flying motorcycles. 


End file.
